2023 Summer Road Trip: A Retrospective of My Musical Journey on the Healing Road

Due to the nature of my job, the first quarter of 2023 was stressful, demanding, and necessitating that I stay in Austin. After a very successful and tiring March, I started getting the bug to get up and go. Where? I didn't know, but I was sure that I would find out along the way. It took some time, but I ultimately decided on a place that is very special to me: Grand Lake, Colorado.

Grand Lake, Colorado is a scenic and quaint mountain town situated on the West side of Rocky Mountain National Park. Its Eastern counterpart, Estes Park, sees far more visitors in a given year, and is the stop-off town known to most park goers. A small town consisting of a downtown village situated on and around three lakes, Grand Lake is my own personal oasis. I spent a very impressionable period of my life camping in the wilderness in the Arapaho National Forest, located just between Grand Lake and Granby. During the summer of 2021, leading into my senior year of college, I volunteered with AmeriCorps and the Rocky Mountain Conservancy; we spent the summer partnering with the Arapaho Rosevelt National Forest Service's Sulphur Ranger District. This included restoring 70+ recreation sites, including picnic tables, boat launches, campsites, and the area surrounding them. Additionally, we spent time in the Indian Peaks wilderness clearing trail with 100+ year old crosscut saws. We hiked in, established camp, stayed for the week, and worked on clearing felled trees from popular hiking trails. A summer that began meeting 12 strangers in a remote Colorado wilderness quickly developed into the best three months of my life. The memories of laughs, hardships, nature's beauty, and lessons learned flutter through my mind with nearly every passing day. I was dying to get back to where I found myself.

I pieced together a two week long road trip set for departure towards the end of June, and aiming for a return around the 4th of July. Being in Central Texas means that my route to Colorado now includes a route through New Mexico. Having never been to New Mexico, I reserved some time and a campsite in Northern New Mexico's Carson National Forest. The campground, Agua Piedra, sits at 8,550 ft. elevation and is near a small, popular ski resort called Sipapu Ski Resort. I'm not sure what I expected of New Mexico, but it was certainly not at all what I saw. I made note of the luscious meadows, steep cliff faces, and the towering timbers. My mis-evaluation of, "New Mexico is just a desert," boils down to nothing but ignorance.

Guiding my trip was a CD case filled with roughly 20 albums that I had specifically curated for the adventure. Wanting to limit phone time, and also anticipating areas with spotty service, I opted to only listen to CDs. Possessing an affinity for CDs, but acknowledging that they are not the most convenient source of music, I thought this was the perfect excuse to have fun with it. In part, inspiration was derived from Neil Peart's memoir Traveling Music: Playing Back the Soundtrack to My Life and Times. Neil hopped in his BMW Z8 on a week off and took a trip to Big Bend National Park in Texas with only his CDs as entertainment. He would then tell stories from the road trip and stories from his life in Rush as he listened and commented on certain albums and artists; included were musings about Frank Sinatra, Linkin Park, and Jeff Buckley, amongst many others. Although this blog will not reach the exquisiteness, professionalism, or the level of thought Neil is capable of producing, I wanted to share my experience for posterity.

A look inside my CD case, in no particular order:

Rush - "Moving Pictures" Johnny Cash - "American IV: The Man Comes Around" John Mayer - "Heavier Things" John Mayer - "Continuum" Smashing Pumpkins - "Siamese Dream" Pearl Jam - "Yield" Tom Petty - "Wildflowers" Tom Petty - "Full Moon Fever" Blaze Foley - "Live at the Austin Outhouse" Townes Van Zandt - "No Deeper Blue" Townes Van Zandt - "Rear View Mirror"

De La Soul - "3 Feet High and Rising" A Tribe Called Quest - "Midnight Marauders" New Order - "Power, Corruption & Lies" Television - "Marquee Moon" Audioslave - "Audioslave" The Replacements - "Let It Be" Biffy Clyro - "Puzzle" Biffy Clyro - "Blackened Sky" Mapache - "Roscoe's Dream" Paul Westerberg - "14 Songs" Otis Redding - "The Soul Album" Jeff Buckley - "Grace"

I departed Austin, TX late on a Tuesday afternoon; I finished a day's work, and had just wrapped up a DMV appointment that had been scheduled for five months. After nearly two years I finally had my Texas license. Was it the smartest thing to do to travel with a paper license that made my look 16? Probably not. Luckily I did not encounter any issues, however. With my eyes set on Clovis, New Mexico I had a rough eight hour drive ahead of me. I cycled through my book of music, keeping track of the hours by a count of how many CDs I had listened to. Driving through the the fairly enjoyable ranch lands of West Texas, I opted for laid back music that paired well with the warm sunset. I began the journey with Johnny Cash and eventually made my way to John Mayer. The drive was on a two-lane highway for the majority, which is my bread and butter. It took me back to the deserted country roads of Iowa. This drive became nostalgic as a result, and I began thinking about how far my life had come in what felt like a few short years. Never uncomfortable or unsatisfying, but also not exclusively joyous. As the salmon sky pitched to blackness I switched gears to something that would keep me stimulated. I threw New Order into the rotation, but the mixture of music, stress and anxiety, lack of sleep, and general exhaustion led to an overwhelming wave of panic and fear. Hypersensitive to the lights, sounds, and smells around me I began to fear that my car was breaking down. Realizing that I was worried about nothing substantive, I made a quick shift and drove in silence until my resting point - the ever luxurious and exclusive brightly lit lot of Walmart welcomed me and my travel woes.

After a restless night (combined 30 minutes), I brushed my teeth, grabbed a coffee, some supplies from Walmart, and hit the road. The early morning sun was bright and hot; although I hit the road early, the Southeast section of New Mexico from Clovis was harsh and dry. I popped Johnny Cash back in the CD changer and pretended that I was a runaway aboard the freight train that paralleled the highway. With no timeline or obligations, I made sure to keep my eyes open for roadside attractions, a habit that I picked up after many summers spent taking road trips with my grandparents. A few hours into my drive I saw a sign that advertised the gravesite of Billy the Kid near Fort Sumner, NM. Recognizing the name I pulled off and followed the bumpy gravel road to the small resting spot. The grave was a bit underwhelming, as the stone was completely surrounded by a wrought iron cage, and the entire graveyard was covered by clouds of mosquitoes. Needless to say, this was a very quick stop. I then continued on the road to my campsite, and had increased my standards of what I would pull over to see on my way.

Heading Northwest on Highway 84 was a picturesque drive. I was nearing Interstate 40, which is the direct replacement for the Historic Route 66. Knowing this I began to shift my music selection to albums I knew were influenced by the early rock and blues of black musicians. I began with Otis Redding and ended up listening to Tom Petty's "Full Moon Fever" until I hit the mountains of Carson National Forest. Stopping alongside the road only to pee, I ventured on as all I could think about was taking a nap in my hammock.

My time in New Mexico's Carson National Forest was restorative and positive. The lack of service at my campground allowed me to live a life "off the grid," as well as appreciate the environment around me. I would wake up after a chilly night in my tent, make a cup of coffee, and listen as the birds chirped around me. As the sun rose above the Pines I began my day. My local exploring, on the winding and narrow roads through the mountains, was soundtracked by Blaze Foley, Mapache, and The Replacements. I would listen to the beautifully written songs of Paul Westerberg and get lost in thought. The lonesome love ballads of Foley soothed my solitary traveling soul, and Mapache's cosmic California folk sound fueled my desire to adventure. After fishing the streams and experiencing moderate luck, as well as hiking the nearby trails, I ventured North to the Taos area. I had highlighted the Taos Junction Bridge as well as the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge as notable stops, so I planned my exploring accordingly. I loved the movie Wild Hogs when I was younger, which was filmed almost exclusively in New Mexico. One of the many riding b-roll scenes was shot on the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge, so I knew I had to see that view for myself. Let me tell you, that was worth the drive alone. I later spent a memorable day in Taos Pueblo, which is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The people of Taos Pueblo welcome visitors throughout the year to tour their incredibly historic community; it is an intimate look into their daily lives, and a majority of the residents open their residences up to tourists as they sell handmade goods. This was an eye-opening experience, and I am glad I was able to hear such special and touching stories from the residents.

As I headed for my final destination of Grand Lake, Colorado, I stopped at the Great Sand Dunes National Park as I had not yet been. My day in the small, but breathtaking, park was... sandy. The "beginner" hike challenged my capabilities as hiking through sand dunes was a new beast; for every one step forward I took, it felt as though I slipped six steps back as the sand crumbled beneath my feet. I began to think about this philosophically and related it to my life at that moment. The purpose of the trip was to escape a stale funk that I had fallen into. If I were to turn back halfway through the hike due to hardships, what would that say about my perseverance and drive? Trudging on, I stuck to the harder-packed sand at the apex of the dunes. Nearly worse than the walking itself was how the sand whipped your face and body; I got frustrated with this at first, but then remembered the wind carrying the sand in was the very reason why I was there to begin with - the formation process of the dunes required this - so I shifted my mindset and began to look at it as a opportunity to embrace a much needed exfoliation. After dumping 10 lbs of sand from my boots I made my way to camp for the night and called it a day.

One of the most powerful abilities one can have is the desire and open-mindedness to allow yourself to be blown away; the night sky in the middle of nowhere Southern Colorado is the perfect place for that. As the sun set on the peaks, the true show was under way. I watched as stars began appearing until the entire night sky was lit up. Although it was not true darkness, it was the closest to it I had experienced in quite some time. I stretched out on the hood of my car and stared up in amazement and awe, luckily catching a few shooting stars in the process of doing so.

Heading North to Denver I started to get a better look at what attracted me to Colorado in the first place: the Rocky Mountains. Although just distant foothills, I was flooded with an overwhelming sense of joy and relief. Almost spiritual, my return to the mountains was long overdue. I had waited all trip for this moment; I dug out my Townes Van Zandt "Rear View Mirror" CD and listened to that on repeat until arriving in Grand Lake. Winding through the mountains as Townes sang on in the background was cathartic and healing. His songs of love, loneliness, and despair only seemed to soothe me. As one of the best true songwriters, his poetry and ability to take the listener on an emotion filled journey make him one of my favorite artists of all time. To know that an artist, such as Townes, also felt such an intense draw to Colorado was reposeful, so it felt appropriate that I play his music during the grand entrance.

Once settled in the small town I began to explore all of my old haunts. I passed by familiar sites and felt as if no time at all had passed since I was last there. It was an odd feeling, without a doubt, because it had been a full two years since my last visit. The town had not changed at all. Wanting to establish camp for the night, I began making my way up the mountains to check out the valley that I called home for an entire summer. As I cautiously made my way through the nearly washed-out road I began to feel a creeping sense of sadness and disappointment. The peacefulness and serenity that surrounded this very section of forest only two years ago had disappeared. In its place was a swath of the newest camper trailers surrounded by noisy generators. Families from all over stacked on top of each other like sardines, acting as if there was a shortage of available space... and in fact, there was. My own oasis had been trampled and turned into something resembling your local KOA. Litter was thrown all about and little care was taken when families chose their camp location. I know the land is public, and I am certainly glad people were out enjoying it, but I still felt a little conflicted and sad about it all.

For the week that I was in Grand Lake, I spent it milling around town and acting like a local (again). I started to see the same people over and over, and we would eventually strike up conversations as I was at the coffee shop working remotely. I also met a touring bicyclist who was making his way from coast to coast. After a night spent talking to him at camp it reinvigorated my desire to do the same; I had mapped out a route and plan one year prior, but never followed through with it. He proved to me, being upper-middle age and having a full time job, that perhaps it may be possible later in life. In the morning he took off and climbed Trail Ridge Road, which I certainly did not envy. As the week came to an end I was forced to say goodbye yet again to the people that I had met, as well as the surroundings that I felt so comfortable and at home in. I took my final hikes to my favorite fishing spots, cherished every last second of my final hammock naps, and did not take the fresh air and scenery for granted. During this time, admittedly, I did not listen to a lot of music. I was not in my car much, and I felt like the music actually took away from what was around me. I did, however, find time to enjoy Townes (of course), Johnny Cash, Tom Petty, The Replacements, Rush, and Blaze Foley. These artists are close to my heart, so it felt appropriate that I partake in their offerings while finding myself in the woods.

After my final night I packed up and took off with no end destination in mind. It was 16+ hours to home, which I felt was a stretch if I wanted to be comfortable. Instead, as I passed each potential stopping point, I re-evaluated how I felt. Ultimately I ended up at a Cracker Barrel in Abilene, Texas. Extremely hospitable and safe, I had no issue sleeping in my backseat for one final time. On my journey home I tried to cycle through my entire CD book, so I don't remember any particular standout disc at any specific point of the drive.

Upon returning to Austin, a large weight seemed to lift off my shoulders. I was happier, more motivated, and in a better spot mentally. This trip, which was two weeks in total, was exactly what I needed. A personal journey that I crafted and made my own; I wrote the story and decided how it ended. I am appreciative and grateful that I was privileged enough to take the time off work, make the trip out there, and return safely. This music will always hold a special place in my heart for the reasons that I have laid forth here; I am hopeful that I can make this a tradition of mine in years to come.